One of my lovely friends is getting married this weekend. It seems to be the trend for me. All my friends get pregnant together and get married together. It has been a whirlwind of engagements, showers, bachelor/bachelorettes, and the ultimate event - The Wedding.
So what goes into a wedding?
A lot of stress and decision making, for sure. One of the toughest things to decide is the wedding party. How many people is too many people? Whom do you bestow the honor upon? It may sound cheesy, but it is an honor to be in someone's wedding party.
When it came to my own maid of honor, I had the easiest but hardest time choosing more than one person. Although, ultimately, you are supposed to have one maid of honor, the rest of your bridesmaids should be able to also fulfill that role. Being a bridesmaid is more than just getting to wear a fancy dress and be part of the "elite" few. Much more thought should go into it. My maid of honor, with the help of my amazing sisters, stole the show. They went through the pain of helping me with 2 full wedding ceremonies and 3 receptions can never be thanked enough!
Lets not forget the other people that helped me. My three other maids have known me for varying lengths of time. To quote the new movie Bridesmaids, which i say go see but definitely select the people you go see it with carefully; Mom's this isn't a movie to watch with your daughters if you still view them as your "little girl." Some scenes made me uncomfortable and I am a pretty straight forward person. I was blushing.... uncontrollably!
My dear friend was there helping me the night before and the day of gluing on the nails I didn't have time to get professionally done and trying to keep this tornado in a teacup contained. No I was not a bridezilla, rather very stressed out when the last minute guests were calling in telling me they could no longer come and or adding another person to their entourage. She also came to Florida where my first wedding was with my other bridesmaid to support our union. My Duluth gal pal was there to help with the emotional break down I had from all the stress and calmed me to the point of being able to get my shit together. She helped me go on with the show.
My personal attendants were also wonderful. One traveling to Florida to accompany her hubby in marrying me off to a wonderful man. Taking that time to come with us and make our wedding our own will always have a special place in my heart. I had a different attendant at my Minnesota wedding. I did her wedding two years ago; she always said that when the time came she would was going to return the favor. Boy did she ever! She was running errands for me and helping me with dress changes. She made sure that my head was on straight while my other ladies helped guests.
Although I couldn't have all the people I wanted to in my wedding, lets just say a group of 10-12 females was pushing it, I had a great group to support me in my happily ever after.
So the moral of the story is:
Brides: It may be a hard decision to make, but listen to your gut feeling. It will always make the right decision, even if it is a hard one. Your wedding size can be anything you want it to be. However, getting up to 12 bridesmaids may be pushing it. Select a core group of people that you know you could call at 3 am having a panic attack about finding the right shade of green for their dresses and call it good.
Bridesmaids: If you are chosen to be part of the wedding party, remember it is an honor not a right. Though no one likes a bridezilla, sometimes it happens. Your job is to smile and support her in her crazy hemming and hawing over the right color green and the invitations. You are her entourage and it is a privilege to be called so. It is your duty to make sure that the bride gets what she wants on her wedding day.
Last thing for both brides and Maids:
Brides: Check yourself before you wreck yourself. No one likes a bridezilla. Pick your battles and be open to other suggestions but go with your gut. It sounds difficult but when it comes down to it, it's your day and you usually (I was extremely lucky - wiht the same groom) only get this chance once!
Bridesmaids: Although we all have lives to live, this is your best friend making a big life change. Be supportive and help her carry out her dream of marital bliss. You have the ability to help her make it the best day ever or the worst. Chose to be the person that she always remembers as being the "best" maid of honor / bridesmaid that she could every possibly have.
